What Is Clutter Shame? Here’s How To Overcome It
We all stream renovation and makeover shows and scroll through organizational influencers’ posts on social media.
If you’re like us, you hope to feel empowered and connected to the streamlined home life these pros create. But studies and anecdotal evidence increasingly show these visions of (supposedly) achievable perfection can often lead to increased rates of poor self-esteem and lower life satisfaction.
And it’s little wonder that the idealized vision of home organization online and on TV might seem impossible to attain in your own home. Especially when lifestyle gurus such as Marie Kondo and her imitators are constantly urging you to cleanse, declutter, make over, or reorganize every single nook and cranny in your home.
The result of all that pressure to purge is an under-reported but prevalent side effect: the overwhelming feeling of clutter shame.
“Celebrities and influencers often post videos and photos of their impeccably clean and minimalistic home,” says life coach and mental health advocate Ashley Chubin, chief operating officer of FlyHi in Aurora, CO. “The implication is that, if you don’t live like that, you lack self-respect and hygiene.”
But you don’t have to fall victim to clutter shame. Read on for pointers about how to combat it.
Give yourself a break
The first step in a journey toward shedding any shame is by being kind to yourself.
“Ever since Marie Kondo asked, ‘Does this spark joy?’ clutter shame has been on my radar,” says Stacy Cason, CEO of Colorado’s Planetarie. “In my work as a Realtor, I’ve encountered many clients who felt shame about their homes, their organizational skills, and the sheer number of possessions they had.”
So you should ask if your possessions are clutter—or a collection of things you value. If it’s the latter, Cason suggests practicing self-compassion as an antidote to shame, especially when it’s externally imposed by current cultural priorities.
Self-love improves confidence, resilience, and strength—and it will also help you differentiate between real and imagined clutter.
Overcome clutter shame by curating decor
Even the most restrained hobbyists and collectors can occasionally let their passions get the best of them. So if your fly-fishing trophies or adorable ceramic pigs have suddenly taken over every surface in your home, ask yourself if it’s time to organize them—without purging anything. (It’s OK if the answer is no.)
“If the clutter starts to feel overwhelming, there are many ways to manage it without getting rid of things,” explains Sarah Barnard, a leading designer of personalized and sustainable spaces at Santa Monica’s Sarah Barnard Design.
“Group like with like, because visual order can prevent things from feeling overwhelming,” Barnard advises.
If you want to go a step further, focus your collections in one area of a room.
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